Peru and Chile

Having researched Chile we realised it was pretty expensive so we decided to head to Peru for a few days instead. Conveniently there was another Wild Rover in Arequipa and we managed to work it so we were there for St Patrick's Day. This wild rover was a lot smaller than La Paz but just as much fun. We got there on the first night and once again got roped into playing dice. It wasn't long before I was once again on the bar dancing to the Spice Girls thinking I looked really cool (I definitely didn't). I took myself to bed that night after too many tequilas but then woke up at 6am the next morning because I could smell vomit. It wasn't long before I realised the smell was coming from next to me and far a moment of worrying that I'd been so drunk I didn't remember being sick, I realised it was actually Sam who had thrown up from his top bunk all over my bed and shoes. Cheers Sammy!




The next day was a big day- Wales Vs England. Becky and I began the trash talking pretty early and I was over the moon when it turned out to be the BEST DAY EVERRRRRR! There was me in my welsh top, the welsh bar man and loads of English as we watched Wales absolutely smash England. I was so proud and was completely ungraceful in rubbing our victory in their faces! Soooo good. It's safe to say that night was going to be inevitably messy. Post-match Becky and I were somehow roped in to hand out flyers for the Paddy's Day party so we headed off for an hour. Such a sweet deal! We were given free tshirts and a free night at the hostel just to hand out flyers to any gringos we saw in the centre- we only found about ten people! Eaaaasy!




That night Becca was appointed official face painter with Becky and I as her helpers. Becky was shit though so she got demoted to publicity and sent people our way. The more shots we consumed, the messier the face painting got and there ended up being a paint fight where we got COVERED from head to toe. We couldn't get the paint out of our hair for days and it is still all over our clothes. In honour of St Patrick's Day they had brought in an actual midget dressed up as a leprechaun and dancing on the bar. He was such a legend! Everyone ended up grinding with him on the bar as I stood on the bar pouring free shots into everyone's mouths. it was soon after that the paint fight began to unfold. God only knows what happened later that night but all I know is I'm a drunk genius because I was over the moon to discover I had hidden a sandwich under my bed for the next morning's hangover- winner!




The next morning was actually St Patrick's Day and we were practically forced to start drinking at midday. Ben the bar man made some hideous green shots and went round the rooms and showers pouring them into people's mouths. We were feeling extremely fragile and had to escape to avoid drinking. Becky took us on the sight seeing tour she had been excited about for weeks (she had been to Arequipa before) but we walked for miles to find out everything was closed- typical. We got back to the hostel, dressed ourselves from head to toe in green and got back on it trying to pretend we weren't feeling sick. There was a live band and everyone was dancing and singing along. rage against the machine came on and I was just casually singing along thinking i was a rocker when a girl shoved the mic n my face and told me to embrace my femininity and to sing for women everywhere- slightly bizarre. Later turns out that the girl, Kirsty, threw up 6 times all over her bedroom floor! Next thing I remember I was being woken up by Becca telling me that Becky was asking for me as if she was on her death bed or something. I went with her and found Becky balling her eyes out with an ice pack on her face because she'd been punched trying to break up what she thought was a rape! She had heard a girl screaming with a guy and everyone was just brushing it off saying she always did it so it was Becky to the rescue and she ended up with a fist to the cheek. MENTAL.




We once again were leaving wild rover hungover, minus a cardigan and hair doughnut and feeling like we'd been hit by a bus. A border crossing was the last thing we wanted to do but we set off to Tacna and luckily we smoothly got across to Arica. Our flight to Santiago was at 6 in the morning so there was no point us getting a room so we got a taxi to the centre and got a Chinese. BIG MISTAKE. We weren't very well at all pretty much immediately. We then got a cab with this legend of a guy to the airport. He had this app on his phone where you speak in Spanish and it translates it into English and vice versa. We had to do this all the way whilst he played English songs and asked us to explain all the lyrics. It was getting tedious because we were so tired but he was a laugh. After a few hours sleep on the airport floor we boarded our flight and arrived in Santiago.

We were booked into a hostel called Terra Extremus and we met a guy from La Paz called Sean there too. When we arrived our room was full of smelly, hungover boys and we had to go on top bunks. To my horror there were no ladders so my short self had serious issues getting up. Any attempts to be graceful were abandoned almost immediately. We had a quick nap then went out to get food. Becky wasn't feeling well so went back while Sean and I found a bar with happy hour and had loads of cocktails. We got back to the hostel in time for the free half an hour of beer then went out again for more cocktails. When we got back we were met with a distressed Becky. She'd gone to bed at 8 and was still not asleep for a number of reasons. About three different couples had had sex in the room, one against her very wobbly bunk as Becky held on for her life, a kiwi guy had woken her up to ask for a condom, people were casually doing cocaine in the corner and having a naked party with music in the middle of the room. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry- too funny.




The next day we walked around Santiago doing all the tourist stuff and shopping. It was such a weird feeling knowing that it was our last day in South America, time has flown by. We were both excited to go to New York but also quite sad to be leaving. I had been so nervous about going to South America and hadn't been sure what to expect but I absolutely loved it and can't wait to return. I met some amazing people, saw some beautiful sights and did some crazy things- I'm not sure anything will compare to the experience.


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Bolivia

Santa Cruz

Our hostel in Santa Cruz was absolutely amazing and I'd recommend anyone stay there. It was called Jodanga and there was a pool (might have turned Becky's hair green but hey), happy hour and you even got eggs for breakfast! We met a good group of people including some Kiwi boys and played Grand National and a game called Mafia. I'd never played it before but it's like wink murder, but you have to lie and try and convince people you're a civilian and don't have a Mafia card (my spy skills clearly made this really easy for me- ha). We all were pretty tipsy and Becky was told she would need proper shoes, not flip flops, to get in. A really nice Brazilian lady so kindly gave Becky a beautiful pair of high fashion, bright blue jelly shoes to wear. They should seriously be a staple in every girl's wardrobe but Becky was SO ungrateful and left them (on purpose) in La Paz. I'm gutted, they were just so nice.




We squished as many as we could in a taxi and headed out to a few bars. The first was a really cool Sheesha bar where we all sat and chatted. We decided we wanted to dance so went looking for another bar. The next one we went in was really hidden and you had to knock a door to eventually get in. The woman was off her face which should have been a clue but we paid and went In anyway. It was the most surreal place i have ever been to. It was a house with a garden where everyone but us was on drugs and dancing like they were in space. It was like being at the hippy bit of Glastonbury again but in Bolivia. If you made any sudden movements the person near you would jump out of their skin and cause mass panic for all of two seconds before they forgot and went back to their dancing. Safe to stay we didn't stay long! We got our money back and headed to a bar that had a Bolivian band playing. I had never heard of them but they had some pretty hard core fans!

As well as bars and night clubs, Santa Cruz had a beautiful centre. There was a beautiful square with a cathedral, a market, parks and, most importantly, an Irish pub! It was really weird though because everywhere we chose to eat seemed to have some sort of Charlie Chalk's esque play area. It was so hard to fight the temptation to jump into the ball pool.




Sucre

After a few days in Santa Cruz we headed to Sucre which is the chocolate capital of Bolivia apparently. It was so beautiful and had some gorgeous churches. We did a tour of a,few but one in particular was awesome. The guy took us up onto the roof and into the tombs below the buildings. It was so scary! There was also an amazing restaurant where I had the best carbonara of my life.




Uyuni and the Salt Flats

After Sucre we headed to Uyuni to book our Salt Flats tour. We checked into our hostel quite late at night and when we were showed to our dorm there was already someone sleeping there. In my tired state I assumed it was a German/Dutch/Swedish guy because all I could see was what I thought was blonde hair. How wrong I was. I got in to my bunk was just about falling asleep when the guy rolled over and it was an old man! Why on earth would an old man stay in a dorm?! Was not expecting that at all. Becca saw the look of horror on my face and it was so hard to hide our giggles. The guys was an American called Barry and he was lovely but my God could he talk. I got stuck in the corridor talking to him as he listed all the Welsh people he had ever met. I didn't mind at first but ten minutes and about twelve names later I had lost all interest.

Anyway, the main reason we were in Uyuni was to book our tour. We were won over by a woman who said we'd be in a jeep with two other British boys and was going on about how it would be three lovely girls and three lovely boys. This won us over because by this point poor Sammy had been on his own with us three girls for so long and we thought he'd appreciate male company. We got up the next morning and waited eagerly to find out who the other two in our group would be. As the clock ticked away, our options got more and more limited. There were a lovey-dovey couple, two Spanish hippy girls or sow Japanese people. Where were our British boys?! Our jeep finally arrived with a really moody Argentinian couple already on board. I don't think I saw them smile once. Our driver, Edwin, was an absolute legend though! He encouraged us to play music and sing along much to the couple's dismay. Edwin was loving it though and he gave us sweets and the meals we had were awesome. The salt flats were absolutely breath taking. We rode on top of the jeep across the salt desert and took loads of photos. We got a bit too creative and tried to use my passport but ended up chasing my Bolivian visa across the salt which we retrieved luckily. Other highlights included seeing lamas, flamingos, coloured lagoons, geysers and aquas calientes. It was so amazing to bathe in warm water in the middle of the Bolivian mountains.












La Paz

Blank. We had our first experience of the Wild Rover Hostels and can't really remember much. It involved a lot of games of dice where you throw two dive and whoever gets the lowest buys everyone playing a shot of their choice. Shots of baby Guinness, Fermet and whiskey later, it's pretty obvious why we don't remember. We danced on the bar, had copious amounts of free shots and lost pretty much all our belongings including our dignity. Lethal!




Somehow we were convinced to sign up to cycle death road. If you research it, it tells you not to do it between December and January or on a hangover, so guess what? We did exactly the opposite. We got up at obscene o'clock and set off to the top of death road. It was still pretty dark and we were less than prepared. We looked RIDICULOUS. I was covering as much of my face as possible with huge sunglasses to hide from the world, Becca was wearing Becky's free jelly shoes and Becky had had about 30 minutes sleep after having helped a naked guy (I won't mention names) wandering around the hostel in the middle of the night. We started the descent on the 'easy bit'. Nothing about it was easy. In fact when we got to the rest point, all of us wanted to cry. We were soaking, frozen, couldn't see more than a metre in front of us, Becca had thrown up in her helmet, I wanted to die, the boys were trying to convince each other to give up and we hadn't even got to the hard bit. Luckily the hail and rain cleared and the rest of the day was dry. We all successfully got all the way down the bumpy cliff edges and rewarded ourselves with beers when we got to the end. The pain wasn't over! I couldn't straighten my fingers because I'd gripped the brakes so hard and my arse, Jesus I couldn't sit properly for days because the seats were so uncomfortable. Cheap massages in Asia couldn't come soon enough!




The other time I ventured out of the hostel bubble was to go for a curry- typical Brits abroad. The curry house was renowned for having the spiciest Vindaloo in South America and Stephen, one of the boys we were with, spent the whole afternoon harping on about how he'd eat it with no trouble. We got there and even the waiters were warning him off it because it contained 40 whole chillies but he ordered it nonetheless. I have never seen a guy sweat so much in my life! I tried THE tiniest bit and my mouth was on fire. I don't know how he did it but somehow, after about ten attempts he ate the whole thing and got the t-shirt before eating a whole pack of Becky's gaviscon whilst he insisted he felt fine. We got back to the hostel bar and you could smell him before you saw him. Funnily enough he went to bed early that night, can't imagine why!




Copacabana

After La Paz we decided we needed a few days to recover after Wild Rover as we all felt physically and mentally broken. We went to Copacabana on Lake Titicaca where we planned to go to Isla de Sol and relax. Beck and i got really excited at the prospect of pedalos so rented one and had a romantic half an hour pedalling away on the beautiful Lake Titicaca looking like massively oversized children.




There was a power cut across Copacabana the next morning so none of us could get any money out at all. Luckily Sammy had some we exchanged some pounds we had for really shit rates and borrowed from Sam until we could get some. Unfortunately this meant that Becky's laundry she had put in the night before wouldn't be ready. This also meant that the laundrette closed! They'd left the shutter a tiny bit open but no one was there. Our boat was leaving in half an hour and operation roll under shutters went underway in true espionage style. Wet washing retrieved- mission accomplished.




Sun Island

Later that afternoon we got to Isla de Sol and were astounded to be confronted with a massive mountain. Thanks for he heads up guys in La Paz. There were no cars or anything modern at all just lamas and donkeys. We had to climb this mountain with all our bags, including Bill. It was not a pleasant experience, especially at altitude and in the fragile states we were in post La Paz. Cue massive hissy fit/panic attack from me (love being dramatic I do). Anyway we got to the top and collapsed in chairs looking out on the most amazing views. Two Aussie guys we met in La Paz were there and were the best examples of short man syndrome I've beer encountered. They were going on about all their laddy experiences in Wild Rover and how many girls they'd shagged. I'm not being funny but one of them was my height and the other had a casual rainbow braid on he back of his head. Totally believable... NOT.




The next day we went on the '4 hour walk' around the island. The name Sun Island makes you think beaches and cocktails so we weren't expecting the hiking involved in the island's activities. We got the boat to the north side of the island as the Aussie boys 'ran it in 1h20'. pfffft as if! Anyway we set out on our trek with handbags and sandals looking like right knobs. It definitely took us more than four hours and at every check point we seemed to have to pay more money to get to the next stage but it was so worth it. The views were incredible and we saw Inca ruins and a sacrificing table that they used to sacrifice little girls on- so eery. At one point we stopped to get water and cookie rations and carried on our merry way when ten minutes later we heard a instant wailing. We turned round to see. Tiny Olivia's woman from the shop chasing father her. Becky went back a bit to meet her and we opulent tell if she was giving birth or what but she was in distress. She started counting out pebbles and telling us we owed her money. She'd struggled to add up what we owed her at the stall so we guessed it was something to do with that. We gave her some money just so we could get moving and I still don't really know what we gave her money for. We kept going and finished the walk in about 5 hours and were absolutely nackered. Straight to bed for me!




Bolivia was such an amazing experience. It was so different to Brazil and Argentina and so cheap! The highlights for me were definitely the Salt flats and La Paz and the people were just so nice. The untrue is still pretty much untouched and all the women still wore traditional clothing and carried their babies in coloured scarves on their back. A culture shock but still a fantastic experience.


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Buzios and the escape to Bolivia

After a hectic week in Rio, we decided we deserved a much-needed break because its such a hard life. So, Becky, Adriana and I headed to Buzios, a coastal town north of Rio for a week of R&R. We booked three nights in a hostel called Phoenix and the rest in Nomad Hostel.

Once we arrived, we made our way to Phoenix and were pleasantly surprised having expected this one to be the worst of the two. We were greeted by a scary cleaner who didn't really have a clue what was going on but nevertheless showed us to our room. SINGLE BEDS!! Never did I think this would be such a luxury having moaned about my single bed at home for the last however many years (Mum, this does not mean I have come to terms with Emma having the big bed, it's just better than bunk beds). We dumped our stuff and went to chill out by the pool where we discovered the hostel's pet dog Phoenix and their tortoise just casually milling around the pool. Both were so cute. By the pool we met a British guy called Shay who decided to come for a wander with us around the town. As it was Valentine's Day, we planned to cook a nice meal and celebrate being lonely hearts on tour. We bought a kilo of meat and rice and vegetables for the four of us and Shay's friend Alex and Adriana cooked up a feast. Oh my God it was so good. We sat by the pool with some beers, chatting about life, eating shed-loads and being mentally scarred by sorties of Shay's Cambodian all-over body scrub experiences. I'll spare you the details.




The next day, Becky and I were casually checking facebook by the pool when we noticed Tom and Jake were also in Buzios (they have taken to following us everywhere- ha). We both got over-excited and arranged for them to come over that night. We had a few drinks, played stupid games and a group of us headed in to town. We went to a few bars but it was gradually getting more and more expensive so Becky, Tom, Jake and I went to the shop, bought a bottle of vodka and drank it on the beach. Becky McCougarson was particularly merry, accentuated when she dropped the bottle of coke, opened it straight away, sprayed it all over herself then ran into the sea fully clothed in an attempt to rectify the situation. Can't say it worked really. Post-vodka we wandered in search of another bar. Tom and I left Becky to her cradle-snatching with Jake and made some new friends in the form of a 50+ couple. The husband was from Scotland and the wife was Brazilian ad they loved me. I was on champagne cocktails all night and didn't spend a penny. Tom wasn't having such a great time. I only became aware of this when Tom grasped my shoulder in panic because he was so drunk he was terrified he would drop his drink. Bless him! He's going to need to man-up before uni! After Blue Martini we headed to a club which had a really weird system. You had to wait outside until a black door opened and a bouncer let you in one at a time, searched you, then shepherded you to a desk. Here you had to give your details in exchange for a card to be used to buy all your drinks, then you had to queue to get out to check if you owed anything. An absolutely ridiculous system if you ask me. This is also apparently partly responsible for the tragic deaths of all the people in he nightclub in Brazil- the bouncers wouldn't let people leave in case they hadn't paid their bill. Anyway, the four of us rocked up in this weird club with a tree in the middle of it. The men in there were so strange! They'd come up to you, lift up their tops and just like gyrate heir hips at you. Literally the most bizarre thing ever. What about that is even he slightest bit attractive? Freaks they were. Particularly the guy who was trying to follow me home saying he loved me. It'ssSafe to say we legged it on to a bus and got home as he sun was rising. It's safe to say we've felt better than we did the next day.







On day four, we moved to Nomad hostel which was in the centre of town and right on the beach. The view was absolutely breathtaking and you could wander down some stairs to the beach from the sun terrace by the bar- pure bliss. We spent our days chilling on the beach and wandering through town. One afternoon Becky, Tom, Jake and I took a boat trip to the nearby islands. We got a cheap one which boasted free drinks for about a tenner so were pretty chuffed. However once we got on, we had no idea what the tour guide said and were supplied with warm glasses of knock off coke and water. Typical Brazilian fibs! The islands were beautiful though and we swam in the sea with sea turtles as Jake and Tom tried to out-tan each other (we beat them both).




We went out once more whilst in Buzios and ended up in a bar on the beach with a guy playing guitar. He had a book of his repertoire which was basically The Live Lounge playlist which was great fun. We all ended up pretty drunk and Becky and Jake went 'to look for Jake's lost money'. Tom and I got bored waiting to decided to sneak in to our room to nap until the cougar and her toy boy got back. This was such a genius plan at the time but then I passed out on my bed, Tom who was meant to be sleeping on he spare bed was found hugging the toilet by Becky so then everyone ended up staying the night. Everything was fine until we realised we had to sneak the boys out of our very strict hostel. Beck and I came up with this elaborate plan of distracting the receptionist with boring questions about how to get to Bolivia whilst the boys snuck out the beach way. We were so scared because we didn't want to be fined but Thank God it all went to plan.

After our week in Paradise, we began our 3 day trip across the Bolivian border. We left Buzios at 8am, got on an overnight bus to Campo Grande at 12.30pm which got us in at about 10am the next day. At this point Becky and I met two people that we didn't realise we would never be able to get rid of! Only joking, we met Rebecca and Sam, a couple from Nottingham University, loaded with Rebecca's insanely large suitcase, fondly known as Bill. We joined forces and from Campo Grande we headed to Corumba where Becky and I had already booked a hostel. As we got off the bus a man started calling Becky's name and hurried us into a tiny little office. He said the hostel was great (massive lie #1) and that we should book getting across the border with him because other companies screw you over (massive lie #2). The deal he offered wasn't much more than what we saw on the Internet, but Becky and I had no cash so he organised for a taxi to take us to an ATM. No joke, this was the scariest experience if our trip, this guy in a banger got us to the cash point... Just. To say his car was on its last legs was a serious understatement. It casually cut out whilst we crossed an intersection and I'm pretty sure the brakes didn't work. Anyway we got back, paid for our bus to Santa Cruz in Bolivia and headed to Hotel Salette with Sam and Rebecca in tow.

*WARNING* massive bitch coming up.

We got to Salette where they claimed they had no recollection of our booking even though our names were in the diary and they'd so kindly passed them on to Chopsy Von Salesman at the bus station. After a mix up with our rooms, Becky and I were given a room (cell) each and Becca and Sam had a double room. We braved the dribble of a shower got changed and headed out for all-you-can-eat pizza, which it turns out is all Corumba had going for it. We got back to the hotel, played cards in the kitchen area in front of an enormous picture of Jesus at the Last Supper, little did we know that this was somewhat symbolic of the hellish night we had ahead of us. We went to our rooms and gingerly tried to make ourselves at home. I think the guy's banger of a car felt safer. Next thing I hear Becky squeal as she discovered hair in her bed, blood on the wall and cockroaches everywhere. We grabbed all her stuff, put it in my room and went to reception to tell them we wanted to change rooms. The arse of a boy was so ignorant and laughed as we typed the issue to him on google translate . We asked to speak to his manager, so then he rang someone and said we could speak to the owner in he morning. We gave him the key to the other room to prove we were only sleeping in one and Becky an I shared one tiny single bed, terrified to sleep incase bugs crawled on us/an axe murderer came out of the cupboard. The whole place was creepy, I went to the bathroom the next morning and there was just this skinny, lurker-y guy in the corridor watching me. We got out of our room as soon as possible and braced ourselves to explain to the receptionist. Turns out the receptionist was only a cleaner, there's no manager, the hotel has no partnership with Hostelworld and even though he cleaner's agreed with us we had to pay or they would call the police. We were so angry and we are currently in the process of arsy e-mails to Hostelworld to get compensation.

We got a local bus to he order, queued for hours and eventually to cross to Bolivia. We had to hang around Quijarro (sp?) for a few hours before we got on the night bus to Santa Cruz. We had a mare as none of us had much money and there were no cashpoints. We eventually got on the bus and as Becca was saying how much it reminded her of Jeepers Creepers, crash, bang, wallop the bus broke down in the arse end of nowhere. It didn't delay us to much and we arrived in Santa Cruz earlier than expected and headed to Jodanga hostel where the lovely owner let us sleep in the tv room until our rooms were ready.

Mission FINALLY completed.


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